“That’s so funny…an architect and a marriage counselor!” Now that it’s the height of summer, a day doesn’t go by without hearing that comment as people walk by our office. Our sign has become a tourist attraction as visitors take photographs and laugh.

Shortly after actors Tommy Lee Jones and Meryl Streep walked by our Stonington Borough architecture office, the words “Marriage Counseling” went up below our sign. The duo was in town filming “Hope Springs,” a romantic comedy about a couple seeking therapy from a famous marriage counselor played by actor Steve Carell. We often joked that being a residential architect sometimes requires the skills of a marriage counselor so when the film crew and “marriage counselor” came to town, Architect Michael McKinley insisted on putting the sign up.

McKinley, who has a dry sense of humor, wasn’t afraid to express what architects and clients know to be true…residential architecture almost always involves some degree of “marriage counseling.” Designing a couple’s dream home can be emotionally charged with each individual placing importance on a specific room, layout and finish materials all while often facing budget constraints. Some strategies that have worked for clients include:

…Having one person meet with the architect to narrow the field of choices to the top three selections. That individual then reviews the options with their spouse and together they make a decision. This has worked well when one person has a busy work/travel schedule.

…Division of responsibility. We’ve worked with couples who have successfully delegated the design decisions of the exterior to one spouse while the other was primarily in charge of the interior selections.

….And perhaps the most important strategy is to maintain your sense of humor!